One of these days I was in conversation with a single young lady who was passionate in her zeal in following Christ. When the conversation turned on the subject of dating relationships she said something on these terms: “It’s really easy to forget about the dating scene when you do everything to please Christ and He is your highest priority.”
This sentiment was admirable of itself but something sounded fishy to me, so I inquired further:
“Wait; so, can you say that Christ something like your husband?”
“Yes”, she said. “We talked about it on the women’s meeting of our [Reformed] church.”
And then some bells rang in my head.
Christ as your husband. This is exactly what cloistered nuns are told to in order to handle their emotions and impulses and direct them towards Christ, or so they say. And it dawned on me: this is the meal our Reformed young ladies are feeding from. This lady of my acquaintance firmly believed this hogwash as if it were the utmost principle of sound doctrine and morals.
There you have it. Our young ladies, so full of zeal, hopes, and dreams, were conditioned as if they were nuns. What is going on in our churches that we have to resort to this thoroughly unbiblical baloney to get our young people to obey Christian morals? And then we wonder when our young people get married and have all sorts of issues in their intimacy. We can do better than that, certainly.
And I don’t have any quibble against monasticism or nuns. But it should be plain and evident that monasticism and lifelong celibacy are not for everyone, and the presuppositions of monasticism should not be taught as a good universal rule for Christians.
Young single ladies who love Christ, keep this in your mind: Christ is not your husband. Christ is your Lord. You don’t owe Him marital love. You owe Christ obedience, worship and service. In any case, Christ is our Brother (Hebrews 2:11-18 [show]Hebrews 2:11-18
For he who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one source.(1) That is why he is not ashamed to call them brothers,(2) saying,
"I will tell of your name to my brothers;
in the midst of the congregation I will sing your praise."
"I will put my trust in him."
"Behold, I and the children God has given me."
Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery. For surely it is not angels that he helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham. Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted. (ESV)
1. [2:11] Greek 'all are of one'
2. [2:11] Or 'brothers and sisters'. The plural Greek word 'adelphoi' (translated "brothers") refers to siblings in a family. In New Testament usage, depending on the context, 'adelphoi' may refer either to men or to both men and women who are siblings (brothers and sisters) in God's family, the church; also verse 12
). But most definitely not your husband. Christ is the husband, but of the Church (Ephesians 5:25 [show]Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, (ESV)
, among others).
No wonder there are countless worship songs that sound too much like erotic love songs. No wonder why so many males find church services repellent (not that we should begin to cater to their tastes, but you get my drift).
We really need to change our ways. Or, we are going to raise a mixed generation: half prudes, half hypocrytes. May the Lord deliver us from this awful future.