Today I realized something that looks frightening, to say the least.
I realized that my convictions do not match, and never did, those of the faith tradition I grew into as an Evangelical; and I really should have no business staying there. My church-polity views are mostly Continental Reformed, my theology is dyed-in-the-wool Calvinistic, my philosophy is mostly Thomist with some analytical slant here and there, and my views of worship and tradition are mostly Anglican. I don’t see a place for Southern Baptist convictions there.
Yes. I confess, in case you didn’t realize it before: I am a high-church Reformed Evangelical Christian, and always was so. And the zeal of my convictions is fueled by the blatant breaches of those standards that I see in my church.
But… on the other hand: this church loved and loves me; they gladly helped me receive a first-class Seminary education in the States (something astronomical in scope for a Third World church); they accepted me with Christ-like acceptance; and even as of today, the church enjoys and appreciate my ministry and my help. I see people being blessed because God blesses them through some of this useless servant. They are my employer; they are in so many ways the ideal environment to work in an office. But more so, they are my family.
So, what am I to do?