The Grey Shadow

You might remember that I called your attention to Tim’s insightful piece, “The Hidden Danger of Peacemakers“. In response to that, I wrote two opinion pieces. The first one is online at OfB, and you can check it out: When Jerks Abuse an Organization. It was also picked up by VarLinux.org. Food for thought.

As a flip-side piece to my 2009 evaluation post, I would like to set some things that I should take into account regarding the year 2010:

In the personal side, it is clearly evident that I should become more careful about my own health. It is also clear that I should do this not only because of myself, but because I am a steward of God’s creation of my own body, and because I am indebted to people who love me and appreciate me. It is going to be a tough effort, no doubt; but I should do it nonetheless.

Regarding work, it is clear that I should go look for a better job. This would include a better-paying day job, and also see whether I can improve on my translation practice. A tough call, again.

In my studies, I have several goals, but the most important of these is to try to keep as high as GPA as possible and to read as much as I can.

As for the computer stuff, it looks like this year is going to be interesting in both Slackware and KDE fronts. I just converted the laptop to Slackware-current, and so far it’s great.

Finally, I should improve my spiritual life, in church attendance and in devotional practice.

All in all, this is just a small sample of what I see ahead for me in 2010. Please keep me in your prayers.

Tim recently wrote a great piece at Open for Business. He tells about the hidden danger posed by people trying to transform church discipline into just another feel-happy church program. Definitely worth a read and your careful consideration: The Hidden Danger of Peacemakers.

Oh my. 2009 was such a year! It was a year full of news good and not so good, and it came and went in style, but all was so hectic! But I digress. The year 2009 was a year full of blessings, challenges, and opportunities and one more reason to be able to give thanks to the Lord.

In the work front, things were not so easy. I got a much needed raise; but falling U.S. Dollar prices and a serious threat of cuts in our fundings reminded me of how unstable my position is despite the good efforts of Rev. S., my patient, kind, and understanding boss. Now, more than ever, it is clear that I should look for a job that could allow me to improve on my weak finances. For that reason, I went to see Uncle M. (you’re right, the big shot lawyer) to see if he can get me a position in the Judiciary Power (one of our three branches of government). He told me upfront that the situation is not very good, but he would look into that for me anyway. Now, I am awaiting for news. Let’s pray for that.

As for my personal life, things were more or less okay, but this year will mark the departure of Don Victorio, my father in law. He was quite a character, and I liked him a lot. His countenance and ideals were the perfect embodiement of the Quixotic archetype; but despite his quirks he was a kind, generous, and fair gentleman. We all miss him. As you may have read in my previous post, too, one of my sisters got married near the end of the year, and it was a joyful moment for all the family.

I also realized that I was having increasing problems with sleep, tiredness and lack of concentration. This made me see a doctor yesterday, and he gave me some news I would rather not hear. I am going to write about this ASAP.

Regarding my spiritual life, I recognize that I should really get my act together. A number of circumstances that act very well as excuses —tiredness, my hatred of praise bands, noise and music, and the disagreements with the current church leadership, and so on— all led to a dismal attendance to church services. One may chose to ignore this fact, but the truth is that my spiritual life will not be helped by it. I am trying to revert this dreaded habit, but it is not easy.

In my academic life (i.e., law school) things went very good. I was able to study on full scholarship thanks to a perfect 5.0 (equivalent to a 4.0 in the American system). We had some difficult subjects, but thankfully I was able to pass all of them with flying colors. I got an 5 in everything save for one course, where I got a 4. But I am happy, and I look forward to my third year with confidence and anticipation.

Well, this is a short summary of what happened on 2009. Please keep me in your prayers. Stay tuned!

A typical manger scene from Paraguay.

for my eyes have seen your salvation
that you have prepared in the presence of all peoples,
a light for revelation to the Gentiles,
and for glory to your people Israel.
(Luke 2:30-32, ESV [show]Luke 2:30-32 [30]for my eyes have seen your salvation [31]that you have prepared in the presence of all peoples, [32]a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and for glory to your people Israel."
)

I would like to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

The year that just passed was a difficult one, but the Lord granted us His love, comfort and wonderful provision in all times. More than anything, I have seen the Nunc Dimitis (Simeon’s song, Luke 2:29-32 [show]Luke 2:29-32 [29]"Lord, now you are letting your servant(1) depart in peace, according to your word; [30]for my eyes have seen your salvation [31]that you have prepared in the presence of all peoples, [32]a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and for glory to your people Israel." Footnotes 1. [2:29] Greek 'bondservant'
) become a reality in my life.

On Christmas Eve we had generally a good time. Since my father in law passed last June, we had to spend the traditional Christmas Eve dinner with my in-laws. We ended up having a wonderful time, not exempt of tears, of course, but all in all it was full of gratitude and joy for the gift of Christ’s presence among humanity.

Later, we had some hectic times since one of my sisters married on Sunday, December 27. It was a beautiful time, only that it was too hot, even for a late evening. Our clothes were drenched. But we were very happy.

Then, we spend the New Year’s Eve dinner with Mom and my other sister (the married one was too busy in her honeymoon ). It was a peaceful time, and that allowed me to think long and hard about the blessings that God granted us along the year.

I hope you had a wonderful time these holidays, and may God grant you peace, hope, forgiveness, and happiness.

Some of you may have seen scattered references to law school in my previous posts and therefore wondered about it. The gist of the story is that I am, in fact, in law school. How I got there is quite a story.

Back to Monday, 10 March 2009. I was busily doing my work in Rev. S.’s office when the phone rings. It was Uncle M., one of my mom’s younger brothers and one of the country’s big-bigshot lawyers, a renowned authority in civil and contract law. He runs the family’s law firm, started by my grandfather back in the 1930s. He droned on his usual imperative low bass voice:

Uncle M: Son, I have been thinking about you. I think you have a great mind for legal matters. You are uniquely qualified for being a lawyer. So, why don’t you give a try?

Myself: Yes, Uncle, I also have been thinking about it. But I have no money, and no way to get books. I am planning to start studying maybe next year, because with some luck I’ll be able to save some money…

Uncle M: Son, the moment is now. Don’t worry about the money. If you are willing, your studies will be paid on your behalf, no strings attached. As for books, you can always borrow textbooks from the law firm’s library. Now, son, this is an extremely important question: are you willing to enter into the study? Because your moment is NOW. Are you willing?

Myself: (Rather trembling) Yes, Uncle, I am willing.

Uncle M: Good. I’ve heard that Universidad Columbia has a great law school and they can get you started now. So go and register yourself TODAY!

Myself: Yes, Uncle, I will register today…

Uncle M: Attaboy. Send my love to your mom, will you? Good bye, son.

I hung up the phone, stunned. I told the conversation to Rev. S., who told me: “This is a long-awaited answer to some of my prayers. You really need to have a good paying secular job besides your theological training. The Church has not been completely fair to your commitment and you need to secure provision for your family. You have a job with me, but you know that our financing can dry up anytime. You will do great in the legal profession, and studying law will be great stewardship for you.”

Moreover, Rev. S. helped me by reorganizing my work schedule so I could opt for afternoon classes instead of evening ones; he also was kind enough to allow me to take days off in exam times, and many other courtesies.

Well, I told about the news to my mother and my wife, and both were enthusiastic. Dad was also very happy and supportive. So I went to the university that very day, registered, and then had my very first class session. That 10th of March was a momentous day; I started the day thinking it would be just a regular Monday, and I ended up being a law student…

Fast forward to today: I’m about to finish my semester. It has been really hectic, and tiring. But so far I am maintaining a 5.0 (equivalent to an American 4.0) GPA. Please pray for my studies; on Wednesday I must sit for final exams on Constitutional Law.

All in all, this has been a wonderful demonstration on how the Lord could turn your life upside down in a matter of minutes. He is really in control of our lives.

We are about to finish an exhausting Holy Week. For those of you who live up North, Holy Week in Paraguay is almost entirely a holiday week, thus providing a much needed break from the daily stresses, in a climate of reflection and contemplation of the Passion of our Lord.

I thought I would mostly rest on this week; however, things conspired against that. Besides having two serious term papers to write for law school, I had to finish the church bulletin early (because the presses don’t work on holidays), and some other projects: a court-ordered translation, a report for Rev. S due in two days, and some paperwork. To all this, you should add that the car needed some fixing and spent three weekdays at the garage. The result? is about to be Easter Sunday, and I am exhausted.

I took the opportunity to recompile KDE during all this hoopla and now I am happily running KDE 4.2.2, which appears to be even more fast and stable than the previous 4.2.x releases.

Despite all this toil and work, tomorrow we celebrate the Resurrection of our Lord. He is Risen! and with Him, the promises of new life, new heavens and a new earth. Happy Easter to everyone! The Lord is risen!

As I told you before, Rev. S. (my boss) told me that my current job would run through December 31. Well, today my boss told me that he already needed the office. Some of his relatives would come over for the holidays and therefore he needed to convert our office into a makeshift bedroom. So, he paid me in advance and, at noon, I walked away as an employee for the last time.

Right now I am without a job. I have my (meager) severance pay, so I might get by for a month or so; but the fact is, I need a job as soon as possible.

I was told I might get rehired if a certain special project is approved. My boss also told me that the pay would be way better. In any case, I covet your prayers. Thanks!

Given the sorry state of world affairs, these collects make great prayers:

Most gracious God and Father,
in whose will is our peace:
turn our hearts and the hearts of all to yourself,
that by the power of your Spirit
the peace which is founded on righteousness
may be established throughout the whole world;
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

and,

Almighty God, our heavenly Father,
infinite in wisdom, love, and power:
have compassion on those for whom we pray;
and help us to use all suffering
in the cause of your kingdom;
through him who gave himself for us on the cross,
Jesus Christ your Son, our Lord. Amen.

After Dad’s passing, everything went to normal. All my daily chores, school, work, errands, reading, study, and so on, were exactly the same as usual… but I realized that they were more and more difficult to perform.

Thankfully, we are arriving at the end of the year. Believe me, 2008 was quite an experience so far. But the guidance of our Lord was always with us, and now more than ever.

Please keep praying for my family and me; and also pray for a new job. My current one ends on December 31, and I have no prospects, yet. Thanks!

The other day Rev. S. confided me that one of our pastors was causing some stir within our church’s pastoral team. It is a problem that is bound to happen every October, just before our end-of-the-year regular administrative assembly, because it is the time when we have to submit the names of candidates for all the different leadership positions within our congregation.

This particular pastor is an excellent Christian and he has our utmost respect. He earned his reputation working as a missionary in Nepal, facing paganism and demonic forces almost daily (no, I am not exaggerating), while being a good witness of Christ. But the problem with him is that he came from a Pentecostal denomination, and he is too influenced by perfectionism. Whenever we proposed some candidate, he objected pointing out a flaw or another: “But he has trouble raising his kids”… “But he is reluctant to tithe…”, “But he is divorced and remarried…”, and so on.

The other pastors of our church understand that is not realistic to expect perfection. As a side observation, I concur and I also can see that the current generation that provides our church leadership material (i.e., people usually over 45) is facing several issues and many of them lead less than perfect lives. So why point the finger to those people’s faults?

I think that most of the objections raised by this pastor come from his flawed understanding of Christian holiness, an understanding that has been tarnished by Christian perfectionism, or a doctrine that maintains that, in John Wesley’s own words, is possible for the Christian to attain in this life the “deliverance from inward as well as from outward sin”. Please note that this is not, by any means, a denial from all sin; and even the perfectionistic Wesley had a rather realistic view of sins in the Christian. After all, he was an accomplished pastor of soul and had an excellent insight on issues of sanctification and holiness. But the teaching of this doctrine led to impossible standards in most Holiness churches; and I can tell that in our particular environment, this brought the practice of double lives and hypocrisy among Pentecostals and other Holiness churches.

That’s why the doctrine of perfection is a danger for the Church: despite all its good intentions, it is a sure recipe for hypocrisy, double-standards, legalism, and judgmentalism. As for me, I prefer a church of fallen people with all its warts and difficulties rather than some shiny, “Stepford-Wiwes”-esque, pasted-smile den of hypocrites.

Despite the good intentions and the sincere intention of commend the search for holiness implied on the doctrine of Christian perfectionism, I cannot clear it as is neither Biblical nor realistic; and it is completely contrary to a true Reformed view of total depravity. Better than writing any answer to it, let me suggest you this excellent rebuttal by Zacharias Ursinus written roughly 200 years before Wesley, as a commentary on the Heidelberg Catechism.

We need to keep in mind all the time what Paul has said so eloquently on 1 Corinthians 1:26-29 [show]1 Corinthians 1:26-29 [26]For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards,(1) not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. [27]But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; [28]God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, [29]so that no human being(2) might boast in the presence of God. (ESV) Footnotes 1. [1:26] Greek 'according to the flesh' 2. [1:29] Greek 'no flesh'
. With his usual wit, my namesake Ed Hurst has nailed down the crux of the issue on the motto of his “School of Holy Cynicism” (a post of his, a post of mine): Mankind is fallen. Sinners will sin. Let’s not lose sight of this. If we do, we are doomed to fail.

First, a disgression. I know it’s been a long time since I posted something substantial here. This is because of my busy life, and in part… because of the success of the forum. You see, I come here with the best intention of writing something, and then I have to face with something like 2000+ comments waiting for moderation. When I finish clicking through all of them (now in batches of 25 instead of 100, courtesy of the newer WordPress), I am not only tired and barely able to think of something; the fact is that I also am left with no time for writing; the rat race of clicking ate all of it. Sigh… Now, with 554 comments pending, let me put a little rant.

The sidenote. Yesterday I was watching a talk show on a Christian TV network who shall go unnamed. The interviewer asked a young Christian lawyer about the “dangers” of the Internet, with a strong implication on pornography and eroticism. The lawyer began to ramble on and on about how “dangerous” it is, especially for children. He also noted that most “Web safety” (i.e., censoring spyware) installed on home computers can be circumvented; and how even if it is not, people can bypass the restrictions by browsing with their mobile devices. He went on to suggest parents to register their child’s phones with mobile carriers as a children-owned phone so its Web access could be filtered. Well, you get the idea: Control, control, and more control. Big brother is watching you so you’d better behave.

For the record, let me make it clear that I support the efforts of parents who wish to know the whereabouts –real and virtual– of their children. That’s only natural, and it’s the way of parenting. I am not going to tell parents what to do. My bone of contention is different.

What I saw in the program, and in the outlook of most Christian “answers” (????) to pornography and related sins of lust and the flesh, is how misguided they are. They think that the answer is control, and more control.

If the Church thinks that the problem of the sins related to lust, such as pornography, are going to go away because of more control, perhaps she must think again. More control, and the sensation of being constantly watched is deleterious to true Christian spirituality, which needs of a closed, very private and personal space for its adequate development (see, for example, Matthew 6:6 [show]Matthew 6:6 [6]But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. (ESV)
).

Moreover, the “more control” approach mistakenly conceives the “pornography problem” as a problem of willpower, when it’s not. Most sins of the flesh, and especially pornography, are sins of the heart highly related to idolatry. Sinful habits are just an effect of this. Therefore, with the “control” approach, you are just attacking the effects, leaving the real causes untouched. You cannot fight hunger just by glueing the lips of the hungry.

Until we stop fighting pornography with pseudo-ascetic, hyper-controlling approaches and we begin focusing on it as what it really is, i.e., idolatry, we are doomed to fail. Let’s hope we realize our mistake sooner than later.

Thanks to the Lord’s grace and mercy, I turned 38 years old last Thursday. I didn’t want any celebrations; however, I had a nice noon dinner with the family.

The year that just passed was hectic, full of changes, difficulties, and opportunities. My work with Rev. S. is about to end when he ends his term in office. My salary was in steady decrease since two years ago, and in the last year this decrease in my income almost reached crisis proportions. Thankfully, I am now registered as a Public Translator, a condition that potentially can help a lot with the family economy. However, I began to study again, and I had endless opportunities to write, speak, and think.

Certainly I am not getting any younger. I must confess that I feel anxious about the problems the future might bring. However, I try to obey the Lord’s command about not worrying because of tomorrow (Matthew 6:34 [show]Matthew 6:34 [34]"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (ESV)
). And, especially, I am grateful to Him for His countless blessings, beyond everything I could measure. Let’s keep walking ahead, one step at a time.

To the law and to the testimony! If they do not speak according to this word, it is because they have no dawn. (Isaiah 8:20, NASB)

Once I read in an online forum a post by a fellow Christian who mentioned that a common argument against having the Bible as our rule of faith and practice is pointing out that the Bible is silent on the matter; and this fellow wanted some help in countering the argument. Someone else cited Isaiah 8:20 [show]Isaiah 8:20 [20]To the teaching and to the testimony! If they will not speak according to this word, it is because they have no dawn. (ESV)
, and to this, the original poster replied, almost relieved: “It is a good text”.

This verse of Isaiah is not just “a good text”. It is a strong, firm and secure indication about the right place that the Bible, the Word of God, should have in the life of the Christian believer.

The Word of God is law; it is a rule of living that must provide guidance our actions and intentions in every moment, because it is a record of God’s will. We must also keep in mind that the meaning of ‘law’ should also be extended to the meaning given to it by the ancient Israelites, an idea that is made very clear in Deuteronomy 6 [show]Deuteronomy 6 The Greatest Commandment [6:1]"Now this is the commandment, the statutes and the rules(1) that the LORD your God commanded me to teach you, that you may do them in the land to which you are going over, to possess it, [2]that you may fear the LORD your God, you and your son and your son's son, by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be long. [3]Hear therefore, O Israel, and be careful to do them, that it may go well with you, and that you may multiply greatly, as the LORD, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey. [4]"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.(2) [5]You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. [6]And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. [7]You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. [8]You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. [9]You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. [10]"And when the LORD your God brings you into the land that he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give you--with great and good cities that you did not build, [11]and houses full of all good things that you did not fill, and cisterns that you did not dig, and vineyards and olive trees that you did not plant--and when you eat and are full, [12]then take care lest you forget the LORD, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. [13]It is the LORD your God you shall fear. Him you shall serve and by his name you shall swear. [14]You shall not go after other gods, the gods of the peoples who are around you-- [15]for the LORD your God in your midst is a jealous God--lest the anger of the LORD your God be kindled against you, and he destroy you from off the face of the earth. [16]"You shall not put the LORD your God to the test, as you tested him at Massah. [17]You shall diligently keep the commandments of the LORD your God, and his testimonies and his statutes, which he has commanded you. [18]And you shall do what is right and good in the sight of the LORD, that it may go well with you, and that you may go in and take possession of the good land that the LORD swore to give to your fathers [19]by thrusting out all your enemies from before you, as the LORD has promised. [20]"When your son asks you in time to come, 'What is the meaning of the testimonies and the statutes and the rules that the LORD our God has commanded you?' [21]then you shall say to your son, 'We were Pharaoh's slaves in Egypt. And the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand. [22]And the LORD showed signs and wonders, great and grievous, against Egypt and against Pharaoh and all his household, before our eyes. [23]And he brought us out from there, that he might bring us in and give us the land that he swore to give to our fathers. [24]And the LORD commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear the LORD our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as we are this day. [25]And it will be righteousness for us, if we are careful to do all this commandment before the LORD our God, as he has commanded us.' (ESV) Footnotes 1. [6:1] Or 'just decrees'; also verse 20 2. [6:4] Or 'The LORD our God is one LORD'; or 'The LORD is our God, the LORD is one'; or 'The LORD is our God, the LORD alone'
: The law is also teaching (as the ESV rendering of the text); is what makes us learn the way of God.

But the Bible is also a testimony. It is a living, extant record of how God decisively intervenes in the midst of human history to guide us to salvation, up to the point of the supreme sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ, the Eternal High Priest, King and Prophet, and thus opening the doors of salvation through faith alone. The Bible is also a testimony, a record, of how a new humanity, transformed by God’s grace, was seeking to walk in obedience, hope, and faith towards the heavenly Jerusalem, the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God (Hebrews 12:22-24 [show]Hebrews 12:22-24 [22]But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to innumerable angels in festal gathering, [23]and to the assembly(1) of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God, the judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, [24]and to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel. (ESV) Footnotes 1. [12:23] Or 'church'
; Hebrews 11:10 [show]Hebrews 11:10 [10]For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God. (ESV)
).

The text from Isaiah is very clear: “If they do not speak according to this word, it is because they have no dawn.” In the practice of our faith, once for all delivered to the saints (Jude 3 [show]Jude 1:3 Judgment on False Teachers [3]Beloved, although I was very eager to write to you about our common salvation, I found it necessary to write appealing to you to contend for the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints. (ESV)
), we have the sacred and solemn duty of conform our doctrine, our teaching and our lives to the rules of the Word of God. As the context of Isaiah 8:20 [show]Isaiah 8:20 [20]To the teaching and to the testimony! If they will not speak according to this word, it is because they have no dawn. (ESV)
shows, other may place their trust in horoscopes and stars, or they migh seek communication with the dead, to get some guidance for their living; but “we will remember the name of the LORD our God” (Psalms 20:7, NKJV). ¡Amen!

Article written for the church’s weekly bulletin, Sept. 07, 2008.

After a long hiatus, I was invited to preach at my church’s youth group at their weekly Saturday evening meeting. I preached on the “falls of the just person” as stated in Proverbs 24:16 [show]Proverbs 24:16 [16]for the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.
. So far, it looks like the sermon was well-received. (I plan to post the notes soon.)

It was nice to be back in preaching. I was quite out of “homiletical shape”, so it was more difficult than usual; but it was nevertheless a blessing for me. Adding to that, seeing so many new faces in the youth group was a real bonus.

Please keep praying for my church, who is facing some difficult times with several issues affecting the congregation, and especially for the youth group: seemingly untouched by those issues, it is very sensitive to anything disturbing the peace of the congregation.

From today’s Daily Office:

Lord God, King of the Universe,
you show the bright glory of your reign
in acts of mercy and enduring love:
raise the spirits of the downcast
and restore those who have fallen away,
that your Church may continually sing of your saving help;
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Amen, indeed.

I closed the gate of my office building, and started to walk to my mom’s place, where I would spend my lunch hour. The day was glorious: cloudless sky of a piercing blue tonality, soft breeze, and no noises save for the usual chirping sounds of bugs and birds. There was no other person in sight.

Then it happened. A soft tune emerged from one of the homes. It was a violin, playing on its low registers, sounding amost like a viola. The player was skilled, and played some typical Paraguayan folk tunes such as «Ñemity», «Lejanía», and «Nda recói la culpa». When the player finished one of the tunes, I could hear some muffled clapping sounds of applause.

What a beautiful moment! A truly reminder that there is something deeper amidst the cachophony of our lives. Thank you, Lord, for this and other signs of Your care for us.

This has been a very stressful month. I was lost in a maze of things to do, reports to draft and translate, church administrative sessions and several meetings.

Thankfully, we were able to conclude our administrative session on November 18th, with a good spirit of fellowship and cooperation among the members. I didn’t stay for the session; I just felt that it was better to skip it. However, I couldn’t be able to escape its effects: I was selected as a member of a committee tasked with reviewing the Bylaws and our internal organizational scheme. Pretty interesting, right?

This time was also very difficult for me, personally and emotionally speaking. At times my own reality was nothing short of harrowing. But I was, and still am, being upheld in prayers by two very close friends of mine; and slowly, slowly, I am picking up my pieces. To them (they know who they are) and to everyone who offered a kind word of understanding and appreciation to me during this time: Thanks! And thanks be especially to our Lord and Father, who was always there with me.

I would also like to thank Steve and Simon, the two brethren behind Oremus, an excellent website that offers the Daily Office. There were times when I was completely unable to utter even the simplest prayer on my own; in those trying times, the structured discipline of prayers, collects and readings got me through and helped me in my personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.

Let’s hope things get better on now; surely there is plenty of work to do. For starters, I have to sit on a meeting this Sunday at 6pm. Just great. But our church needs me, and I will try to do my best.

To my American readers: Have a nice Thanksgiving in the company of your loved ones!

P.S.: Pssst, I am looking at you now… just don’t be scared, I don’t bite

This prayer struck me as especially timely:

Touch and heal all those whose lives are scarred by sin
or disfigured by pain, that, raised from death to life in Christ,
their sorrow may be turned to eternal joy.
Lord, have mercy.

This is also my prayer. Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.

Word on last Sunday’s administrative session wasn’t good. There were several incidents among disgruntled brethren and the view was not particularly edifying. Many members just forgot they were there to conduct the Lord’s business, and resorted to tactics more appropriate of old-time political bosses. Needless to say, our administrative session was interrupted, and we plan to continue it on November 18.

This last week was also hectic on the work front, but things promise to improve in the next few weeks. Let’s see what happens.

I still don’t know the outcome of my church’s administrative session that was planned for today. I went to the 8:00am service and promptly left afterwards. Rev S. told me that the session was planned for 11:00am. Let’s hope it was good. Dinner was delicious; we enjoyed some barbecued steak and salads. I spent the rest of the day surfing and reading; all in all, a great day.

I would like now to share with you some great, timely posts related to events on October 31.

Reformation Day. Tim gives us two excellent pieces on the subject, written in OfB.biz:

1. My friend and namesake Ed Hurst wrote in 2006 a drastic, but well-deserved, indictment of Evangelical Christianity: “We need a reformation.” He explains:

Within the Evangelical Protestant community today, we are very nearly in the same place which broke Luther’s heart. We have an informal hierarchy. The highest vestments are based on talents more suitable to television and marketing. It’s all about the packaging; no one seems to care much about the content, our declarations notwithstanding. We do not need another dynamic leader; we need spiritual direction which points to Jesus Himself. Forget the CDs and DVDs, the books and programs. We don’t need more information, a new explanation, or another touchy-feely experience. We need a fresh examination of the same eternal truths, a fresh commitment to what we already know. If the primary complaint is boredom, maybe we need more people actually reborn and changed by the miracle of God bringing to life a dead soul.

2. Tim himself wrote this year’s piece on Reformation Day. He speaks in an irenic note, but his advice is no less drastic: Reformation Day should be a yearly reminder to check our beliefs. He goes on to consider the meaning of Reformation Day in a Church rightly concerned with the cause of Christian unity. From Tim’s insightful piece:

The Reformers, well aware of the need to be conscious about our theology and to always realize our potential for corruption did not seek a static church, but rather the “ecclesia reformata, semper reformanda:” the church reformed, always reforming. This is the key lesson of the Reformation: the people of God should be diligent in seeking to be reformed by the will of God. Whether or not you agree with Luther’s particular grievances in their entirety, this remains the central principle that everyone ought to take to heart.

Halloween. Jared of Exultate Justi fame presents a reposts of two classic posts on Halloween. Jared writes with wisdom, charity, intellectual rigor, and he is backed by good research. His first post deals on why he was wrong about Halloween, and the second is a great piece on what’s fundamentally wrong with horror-oriented entertainment. You can read both pieces in his archive. As Jared insighfully asks: “While it may be a sick world, do we really need to wallow in the filth?”

Yes, you are allowed to bring your special comfy armchair, your beverage of choice, and your classical music playlist. Enjoy!

Things down here are hectic, which sadly it means business as usual. The unexpected passing of Rev. M., our late senior pastor, still has some fallout for us. There is just too much to consider, too much administrative stuff, it’s just mind-boggling. We have an administrative session scheduled for tomorrow where we must elect officers and consider the 2008 budget. There is tension among the brethren, but we are also confident that God will help us through these testing times. Please pray for tomorrow’s session and its outcome.

Most of you know what I think of current worship practices in church. My disagreements on that area are mostly philosophical, aesthetic and methodological. However, sometimes it is just plain old incompetence what gets you.

Two Sundays ago, I went to our church service. The worship (or what passed for it) was directed by a certain lady. Everything was truly awful (as usual), but then things sank to a new low. She called for Hymn #370. I searched in my hymnal and thought “wow, that is great. An Old German choral by Gebhart.”

However, the music started and something was awfully wrong. The music was completely different! Searching, I found out that the music was in fact that of Hymn #217, which is the exact same lyrics but with a completely different music. Even worse, the worship group even got the melody wrong and repeatedly made mistakes!

What became evident is that not only the directing lady didn’t know anything of even basic music reading; the whole worship group didn’t know the first thing of score reading as well. Awful, just awful.

This has been a challenging week. Things are not going as well as I would have wished in the financial front; but we are holding on. But the most difficult problem is a delicate situation that must be overcome by my local church. Our senior pastor unexpectedly passed away last week, and the outlook for our congregation is delicate because of circumstances I would not like to comment right now.

On other news, I finally managed to upgrade all my WordPress sites to version 2.2.2. The upgrade was simple, and the good WordPress folks reduced the steps in the upgrade process from five to three. So far, it’s good.

Please keep praying for my local church, my family, and this writer. That will be greatly appreciated.

Browsing over LXer, the GNU/Linux news site edited by my brother and friend Don Parris, I found this interview with Fred Miller. Fred is an old friend, back from several years ago. I met him at the CS-FSLUG mail list, and I found really nice to learn more from him and to have him featured in such a prominent news site. Go and read it; it’s an excellent interview with a commited Christian brother and Free Software advocate.

Rev. Harold Segura works with World Vision Latin America and he also serves as the Director of Theological Education for the Union of Baptists in Latin America. He was invited as an observer to the 5th Latin American Roman Catholic Bishop’s Conference in Aparecida, Brazil.

Harold published his recollections as a conference observer in a blog, Desde Aparecida, which is written in Spanish. Fortunately, there’s an English translation with almost all the posts, From Aparecida. I found the translation generally good despite some obvious translationisms.

This would make a great reading to those interested in the state of Protestant-Roman Catholic relationships in Latin America, and the particular spiritual needs of this continent. Enjoy!

I found this excellent article at All Unkept, Luke Plant’s blog : What’s so bad about the Nazis anyway?. It is a great application of slippery-slope logic in hindsight, and makes you question whether slippery-slope arguments are really that worthless. Recommended.

Today I would like to tell some good news. On March 29 and 30 I had to sit on two rather tiring qualifying exams to achieve the certification of Registered Public Translator granted by the Paraguayan Government. My intention was to get certified on the English-Spanish pairs (both English > Spanish and Spanish > English). And before translation theory purist bash me for daring to aim for Spanish > English certification, let me add that our Government does not allow a single lanaguage pair without its reciprocal. The exams were administered by the Higher Institute of Languages from the National University of Asunción.

Yesterday I went to the Higher Institute to check my results, and thanks to the Lord I made it! Hooray! The exam was very difficult, and the two other folks who also sat on the exam failed. On our meeting, the examiners said that it was apparent to them that I was a voracious reader, and that made the difference.

So, Lord willing, I hope to become a Registered Public Translator, with a Government-issued diploma, real soon now. There are many other details and procedures to follow; but the biggest stumbling block has been overcome. Theoretically, it’s all downhill from here. Please pray that I can safely complete all the remanining procedures.

Happy birthday! Today is my wife birthday, so I have to be Mr. Perfect Hubby for her

Upgraded to WordPress 2.1.3 There is yet another row of security issues in WordPress, so the good developers issued us version 2.1.3. Upgrade is recommended. This is hardly good news, but it’s worth mentioning.

The folks at Think Christian graciously linked to posts on my ongoing On Porn series, and they had some very nice words about it. The blog post also features some great discussion. I find this quote from Matthew priceless:

…it seems so very hard to be a man within the church these days without feeling like you need to act like a woman in order to survive.

Go read it for yourselves: Straight talk about pornography and the church. Thanks, Think Christian!

See also:

1. On Porn: A Catastrophic Pastoral Failure
2. On Porn: Defining Porn, and Double Standards
3. On Porn: Arguments Against It Examined
4. On Porn: Some Interesting Links
5. On Porn: More Interesting Links
6. On Porn: Get yourself a reputation…

So far, in our study of pornography we have tried to define and differentiate pornography from other related phenomena. We also tried to examine closely some arguments against it. Our attention will turn now at the responses to porn in a Christian environment. This is a question of increasing relevance, after the recent news about high-profile Christian leaders who confessed the commission of different instances of sexual sin.

Starting from an hypotethical case of an adult Christian individual caught consuming porn, we shall look at responses from three angles: spousal, community, and pastoral. The approach should be descriptive, without any intention to judge or criticize. The time for criticism will come later.

Please have in mind that this exploration is highly tentative; and, as always, your comments and feedback will be highly appreciated.

Spousal

The most intimate realm where a response could be noted is the spousal. For a Christian caught consuming pornography, the responses at the spousal level could be devastating for him/herself and his/her marriage. Please note that this applies most commonly to cases where the husband is the one caught.

If we could sum up the spousal responses in one word, this would be “victimization”. The responses tend to show that the spouse of a Christian caught consuming porn is a victim harmed by the offending spouse’s behavior. In our understanding, spousal responses to pornography consumption could be described by five aspects. Four of these are feelings: inadequacy, betrayal, repugnance, and self-righteousness. One is an intention: intention of divorce/breakup. In our analysis, we intentionally left out basic emotions (such as anger or sadness), for the sake of clarity and brevity.

Inadequacy One of the first spousal responses to porn consumption to make its appearance is the feeling of inadequacy. Upon learning of the shocking predicament of the offending spouse, the “victim” party usually thinks: “it is obvious that I could never compete with that bimbo at the Playboy centerfold!” In other words, they feel inadequate to satisfy the husband’s desires, or to ignite his passion. They feel un-desired, un-loved, un-cared. They feel rejected.

Especially for male consumers of pornography, a spousal response like this may come as a surprise. The porn consumer is an expert at hypocrisy, and the fact that he had been living a very compartimentalized life renders him unable to understand why his wife feel this way. Yet, this response is by no means fake or exaggerated. It is real and it should be dealth with both intimately, within the marriage, and pastorally, outside it.

Addressing this feeling is of utmost importance for adequate
restoration, since it essential for a wife to feel loved, cared for,
and accepted by her husband. The offending husband usually strongly loves his wife and cares for her, and would not dream, even for a single second, about leaving her or committing physical adultery with someone else; but he should keep in mind why his wife perceives his failure as inadequacy.

Betrayal. This is a strong response usually felt by wives of offending husbands. “I have saved myself for him; I tried to look pretty for him; I made countless sacrifices for him! I respected him as the head of the family, as my lord and master… and it turns out that, unbeknownst to me, the filthy pervert was debasing himself with that smut, all this time!” The feeling of betrayal stems not only from the “disgusting” or “forbidden” nature of the offense; the fact that the offending party concealed the habit for a long time is a big contributor.

Repugnance. This feeling emerges due to the shocking nature of the pornographic material, and, even more so, because most pornography tends to deviate from what we regard as accepted standard notions of sexual behavior. The response usually is more intense when the spouse had a strict upbringing, but ultimately the level of repugnance varies highly.

Self-righteousness. This response usually appears in the offended party. “What a dirty pervert! Thank heavens I would NEVER do something similar!” Spouses, on the wake of learning about the offenses commited by the husbands, think they are above committing something similar and, as a consequence, begin to think that they are “better” than their husbands.

Of course, a reality check would readily show that every person is an intrinsically perverted sinner, able in principle of committing the most heinous acts known by humankind. Women might not be readily attracted to the kind of pornography that catches the attention of their husbands, but they have their own basest temptations to fight. Self-righteousness is something that needs to be energically addressed by pastoral care in these cases.

Divorce/breakup. Sometimes, the extent of the hurt felt by the offended party is such that she deems the marriage void and thus she seeks to break it by separation or divorce. Again, this is not an exaggeration; the hurt feelings sometimes are so deep that restoration of the marriage covenant looks as something extremely difficult to achieve.

Community

The next level where we could find responses is that of the community; specifically, the realm of the Christian community or local church where the offense took place. Sadly, the level of hypocrisy in such environments tends to be high, and therefore the key theme here is that of self-righteousness.

Among the responses, we can identify three important ones: repugnance, self-righteousness, and isolation.

We already considered feelings of repugnance and self-righteousness when we dealt with spousal responses, where we mentioned that one of the expected actions in return was the breaking up of the relationship. In the case of the community, the expected response is one of isolation. “He’s not one of us,” they tend to think. And, instead of reaching out to one fallen member in desperate need of discipline and restoration, the community turns its back on him.

Repugnance. Prevalence of this feeling in the community stems not only of the shocking nature of most pornographic material (as it was in the “spousal” case); it comes mostly because pornography is by definition outside the accepted morality standards of any community. Therefore, the expected social reaction should be that of repugnance.

Isolation. Since the community decides that they are different — i.e, better– than the offending party, the latter is isolated and often severed from the community, which has to remain “wholesome”. So, witness the case of pastors caught in sexual sin who are summarily fired instead of being offered church discipline and Biblical restoration.

Self-righteousness. This reaction comes when one of the members have been exposed as a committer of sexual sins. The community re-affirms their bonds of belonging by telling each one of the not-offending members, “we are better than him. Look at that awful thing he has been doing. We would NEVER do such a filthy deed, thanks heavens!”

Pastoral

For the most part, the isolation accorded to the offender by the community is motivated by the standard pastoral responses, who tend to be swift, firm, and usually not very careful. This is understandable, since cases of persons caught consuming pornography are usually high profile (generally a consecuence of spousal reactions to the incident), and pastors have the well-being of the congregation as their first concern.

I shall mention four typical pastoral responses: Intervention and disruption, shaming and exposure, treatment for addictions, and tight control.

Intervention and Disruption. Pastoral action usually intervenes inside the family life of the person caught consuming pornography, treating this case as a major emergency because, in the pastor’s eyes, said person is guilty of total moral failure. In some cases it even looks like the family is now being run by the pastors and not by the family head. This action is highly traumatic for all members of the family involved.

Shaming and Exposure. Pastors usually coerce the person caught consuming pornography into appearing before the congregation to “confess” their sin and asking for forgiveness. This is utterly strange, since the the consumption of pornography is usually done in private; but the sinner is publicly shamed and exposed as a filthy pervert.

Treatment for Addictions. Since pornography consumption is such a horrible evil, it must be an addiction. Pastors usually thinks that this is because pornography is done against the sinner’s best intentions and wishes and despite his better self. The guilty party is not only a sinner; he is also a sick, very sick person in need of “therapy”.

Tight Control. After seeing his family being run by strangers, after appearing before an auditorium full of acquaintances to say he himself is a pervert, and after submitting to a grueling “addiction” program, the person guilty of pornography consumption must give up all hopes of any significant privacy. Now his life is run by Big Brother.

Big Brother has access to everything. The emails are read. Logs of Web visits are saved somewhere else. There are “accountability partners” who ask about everything. And then there is the family; the spouse, if there’s still one left, feels endowed with the right to read everything, know everything, overhear everything.

Thus, the Church’s ongoing war against Christian males gets one more victim, whose life will never be the same again, and who supposedly has no one to complain for this but himself.

Concluding thoughts

A brief survey of these responses against the consumption of pornography shows plainly the fact that they have two important traits: (1) a strong overreaction, and (2) an equally strong desire to punish the offender. Restoration concerns come second.

No one can deny that, given the emergence of pornography consumption or another similar sexual sin, these traits will be present with incredible force, and the responses will be very similar to what I have written here. Problem is, this is not the Christian way! (see John 8:1-11 for an example).

We need to change the way the Church is treating this problem. Right now, it looks more and more like an indictment of male sexuality than a pursuit of holiness. We can do better! We should improve all levels: pastoral, community, and family/spousal. The pastors, the persons who should know better, should change first. They, in turn, can help the community to become more prepared to exercise Biblical, restorative church discipline and then the community can help the spouses and the families to cope with their very real hurt. Again, we must do better than this sad state of things.

On the next post, I intend to explore the real reasons why pornography is bad. Stay tuned!